Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.
I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger. Then it hit me
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race? It ended in a tie!
The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak.
Don’t interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you’ll hear some crosswords.
Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.
My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. I found out she was seeing someone on the side.
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
A Spanish magician was doing a magic trick. He said, “Uno, dos…” and he disappeared without a trace.
If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while. They’re normally around 90 degrees.
I’ve written a song about tortillas. Actually, it’s more of a rap.
Two cheese trucks ran into each other. Debris was everywhere.
My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. She had a history of violins.
Police have arrested the World Tongue-Twister Champion. I imagine he’ll be given a tough sentence